Life Transitions: How to Let Change Refine You
Mindset · From Student of the Game
Life Transitions: How to Let Change Refine You
Season two of Student of the Game opened with Olympian Charles Fernandez, and the theme of that conversation was transitions. In this solo Huddle, Brad Noll picks up where it left off. Rather than recapping the interview, he looks at the transitions his listeners are likely facing right now and what it takes to move through them well.
A transition, Brad reminds listeners, is simply a change or shift from one state, place, or subject to another. A new year is a transition. So is every month, every week, and every day. Some transitions we choose, and some just happen to us. Either way, he asks: what identity and what mindset are you bringing into the next one?
Habits, Discipline, and the Five Circles
Brad says goals and dreams are great, but true joy comes from falling in love with daily habits. He asks listeners whether they actually like the habits they have, because those habits will shape the year more than any resolution.
One idea from Charles stuck with him: only the disciplined ones in life are truly free. If something in your life feels like bondage, Brad says, it may need more discipline. He sees five circles in life: faith, family and relationships, business or career, finances, and personal health of mind and body. He admits he is disciplined in some of those circles and not all of them at once. Most people are the same, and that is part of moving through seasons.
“It can either define you or it will refine you and you get to choose. That's the cool part. You get to choose.”
Brad Noll
The Transitions We All Face
Brad jotted down a list of the transitions people go through. Seeing them together is a reminder that change is normal, and that nearly everyone is in the middle of at least one:
- A new job, a lost job, a promotion, or the push to grow your business.
- Marriage, and the many decisions newlyweds face, from where to live to where to spend the holidays.
- Divorce and other changes in the shape of a family.
- The move from high school to college, or into whatever comes next.
- Relocating for work or to be closer to family, with new friends and new schools to find.
- Health changes, from getting older to an injury to a weight loss goal.
- Personal growth that moves you faster than the people around you.
- Financial steps like buying a home, saving for college, or building an emergency fund.
- Empty nesting, and rediscovering life together after the kids leave home.
- Political and societal change, and the loss of a loved one.
On growth, Brad says you cannot stay at the same level, keep the same habits, and have a bigger goal. On finances, he connects back to identity: you have to choose to be the person who saves and invests in your future. And on empty nesting, he asks a pointed question for couples: do you still enjoy the time spent with the person you are with now that the kids are out of the house?
Define You or Refine You
The heart of the episode is a choice. "It can either define you or it will refine you and you get to choose," Brad says. No matter what happens, you can ask whether a hard season will become your identity or whether you will use it to grow. Is the suffering in vain, or will it make you better?
Some of the toughest transitions are the ones that come with growth. Brad remembers moving from high school basketball to college, where bigger, faster, and stronger was real and freshmen carried the bags. He went from the top of one level to the bottom of the next. A promotion works the same way. After years at the top of your game, the new role puts you back at the bottom, and you climb again. Personal growth can be lonely, too. When you are growing faster than the people around you, perhaps as a goal setter whose spouse or family is not, that gap is its own transition.
Get Help From Someone a Phase Ahead
Brad's encouragement for anyone in a transition is simple: get help. One of the most meaningful transitions in his marriage was guided by leaders at church who were one or two phases of life ahead of him and his wife, Lindsay. They also joined a young married couples class where everyone was figuring out the same questions together: buy or rent, have a baby, get a dog, which family to visit for the holidays.
He is in another transition now, preparing his daughter for college after she committed to play golf at the next level. The theme holds. Relationships win, and the right people walking beside you can make any change easier.
Why Should You Want More Transitions?
Brad flips the usual view of change. He believes the more transitions you build into your life, the more chances you get to reset, reflect, keep what worked, and let go of what did not. That is why his team uses short cycle execution and sets new goals every 90 days instead of focusing on annual goals.
Shorter horizons create urgency. An annual goal rarely feels urgent. Brad shares that right before recording, he looked at one of his goals for the quarter, scheduled a call, held the meeting that morning, and might reach the goal within a week. Successful people live with a sense of urgency, he says, but it is intentional and thought out. His closing encouragement is to be okay with change, because change is inevitable, and to remember his life mission: helping others win.
▶ Listen to the full episode
Transitions: The Huddle with Brad Noll, on Student of the Game.
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