Networking That Works: Brad Noll and Michael Yoder on Building Authentic Relationships
Relationships · From Student of the Game
Networking That Works: Brad Noll and Michael Yoder on Building Authentic Relationships
Michael Yoder had been at a networking event for only a few minutes, catching up with a friend he had not seen in a while, when someone interrupted them with a flyer. It was an invitation to a different networking event. The person spent the next 10 to 15 minutes trying to talk them into coming, then just stood there awkwardly.
Michael tells Brad Noll that moment is why he has been going to fewer of these events. He does not fault the person for hustling. But it raises the question at the heart of this episode of Student of the Game: how do you go after what you need in business while still being authentic with people?
Michael is Brad's podcast coach and an old friend. Their fathers were once partners in a real estate business in Berne, Indiana, and as Brad jokes, the two of them probably have pictures in diapers together. This conversation went off script quickly, and it is better for it.
The Event Didn't Do That to You
Brad's first response is that the person with the flyer was not connecting, he was being transactional. Brad looked up the word connect and found it comes from Latin meaning to bind together or join. "Homeboy wasn't connecting with you," he says. He also pushes back on giving up on events altogether. "The event didn't do that to you," Brad says. "It was the person that did that."
Michael points out how you can tell it did not work. "I don't remember their name. I don't know what they did for a living. I don't know if they have a family." All he remembers is the flyer.
Brad admits he makes his living on transactions. His team does not get paid until a home sells. But he believes the mistake is setting out to get the transaction. Some of his best relationships started as attempts to win business and turned into friendships with people he never ended up working with.
“I think at the end of the day, and I think you would agree with this, you're selling yourself as much as you're selling your product.”
Michael Yoder
Who Are You Looking to Meet?
Brad's team recently hosted what they call a business mixer, and they try to turn networking on its head. Nobody comes to hear Brad give a presentation. Instead, before guests even show up, they are asked one question: who are you looking to meet?
Brad answers for himself. He wants to meet people going through life transitions that call for a housing change: getting married, having babies, empty nesting, going through a divorce, or settling a family home after a loss. Michael, on the other hand, wants to meet business owners with stories to tell. Walking up to Michael and asking if he wants to buy a home would go nowhere. Knowing who he wants to meet opens the door to an introduction.
The response to the mixer surprised even Brad. The previous year's event drew 85 people, the best turnout they had ever had. This year, 140 people signed up, and then the worst ice storm Brad can remember hit the morning of the event. School was closed. They talked about canceling, but Brad's wife Lindsay reminded him that plenty of people still have to go to work in bad weather, and for many, this was work. In the end, 110 people came. "People want to build relationships in the worst way possible right now," Brad says.
Give Freely and Let Go of the Outcome
Michael believes generously helping people without expecting help in return opens up avenues to receive. "It's more like give freely," he says. Brad plugs one of his favorite books, The Go-Giver, and says his biggest competition now is out-serving and out-giving others. He is honest that it took him years in the business to be at peace going to bed knowing he made a difference without worrying about the sales.
Why do so many people struggle with this? Michael thinks it comes down to fear. Business owners have margins to hit and families to feed, so it feels easier to skip the relationship and go straight to the pitch. Brad agrees, and calls the result sales breath: everyone can feel it when they are being sold to.
Brad shares the image of a farmer planting seeds. The wind, rain, and birds will take some of them, and not every seed will grow. Michael adds a point that lands: "The more I find that I try to clench and control, just the more stress and anxiety I get." You can control first and second base. You cannot control home plate.
Your Brand Is the Emotional Connection
Brad calls this the mic drop moment of the episode. Plenty of small businesses are trying to create a brand, and they meet with marketing teams to land the perfect tagline. That, Brad says, is branding. "Your brand is the emotional connection you have with your clients and the people inside your database," he says. The only way to grow it is to keep connecting and building relationships.
Michael puts it another way: you are selling yourself as much as you are selling your product. With a crowded field of real estate agents in Fort Wayne, people choose the one they know cares about them. Brad quotes the old line that people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care.
That leads to Brad's advice for anyone who wants more business. Before you go meet new people, go back and invest in the people who already know you. Past clients can still make introductions. On Brad's team, new agents need to know at least 250 people to start, because the framework depends on having relationships to build on. If you are just starting out, go to the events and grow that list.
Seven Reasons Connecting Matters
Brad came in with a list he never got to, so he closes with it:
- Lead with value, not sales. As a college buddy told him, life gives to the givers and takes from the takers.
- Listen more than you talk. Brad reads a Stephen Covey line: most people do not listen with the intent to understand, they listen with the intent to reply.
- Create community and shared experiences, even before any business comes up.
- Be consistent with follow-ups. If you get a card at a crowded event, write a note and ask to get coffee.
- Use storytelling to build emotional connection. Michael points out that some of the most powerful teaching in history was done through parables.
- Find shared interests beyond business, and be willing to be real about your challenges.
- Be the connector for others.
Michael says the easiest party trick in the world is simply asking good questions, listening to the answer, and asking another one. People want to share. They want to connect.
How Do You Network Without Being Transactional?
Brad's answer is the seventh point. Most people walk into an event thinking about their elevator pitch and how many cards they handed out. He suggests flipping it. "If you go to your next networking event, don't bring any cards, but be a collector of other people's business cards," he says. Ask what people do and who they want to meet, then follow up with coffee, lunch, or a round of golf. You will get your chance to share who you want to meet. Go with the posture to serve others.
Michael tells Brad he is one of the best connectors he has come across in business, and that he wants to be known for the same thing. Brad turns the question back on him, and Michael says he wants to meet business owners with stories and insights worth sharing, because sharing those stories helps other people. It is a fitting end to a conversation about giving first.
▶ Listen to the full episode
Transformative Networking: The Art of Building Authentic Relationships with Michael Yoder, on Student of the Game.
Meet this episode's guest
Connect with Michael Yoder
Founder and CEO, Truth Work Media
Michael founded Truth Work Media in 2014. His South Bend team produces podcasts for businesses across the country, including both Noll Team Real Estate shows, Moving Fort Wayne and Student of the Game. If you have been thinking about a podcast for your business, Michael is the person to talk to.
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